Evolution Surrenders!

This has been a fun week so far in the UAE:

DUBAI - Two UAE nationals - Ali S. A. (38) and Abdullah M. S. (30) - were sentenced to life imprisonment for shooting dead a Sudanese national Abdel Monaim M. Y., who claimed to be bullet proof, was shot in the stomach and the head, resulting in his death.

Interlude...
ARTHUR: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.
ARTHUR: So be it!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
ARTHUR: Well, what's that then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
[hah]
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
[bang]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
[whop]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come 'ere!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
ARTHUR: You're a loony.

The court found them guilty of premeditated murder.

The history of the case dates back to November 1998 when the two defendants persuaded the victim to come with them to a deserted area at Al Rawyya. The first defendant fired at the victim on his chest from a pistol in his possession, while the second shot him in the head, resulting in his death. The pair left him lying on the ground and ran away. The coordination and cooperation between the police departments and the Emirates Telecommunications Corporation had contributed effectively in arresting the murderers.

This happened when the phone calls the victim received in his mobile telephone from the prime suspect were tracked. The first suspect had called the victim four times for he knew him. The prime suspect asked the victim that he wanted to meet and ask him about some matters related to magic and sorcery, which the victim claimed he knew. The two defendants met the victim at Al Hamriyya, and took him in the car of the second defendant to a deserted area, where they shot him dead.

The first defendant, when interrogated, confessed to the conversation made between them before shooting. He said: "We had asked the victim when we pointed the pistol at him whether he was a superman, in the sense that he would not be affected by gunshots." The two men said they asked him before pulling the trigger that if he was impregnable, they would shoot him. "The man nodded, saying "yes", and I first shot him in the abdomen, but he pretended he was not hurt," the first defendant said. The second defendant fired at him on the head, and he fell dead. Later, the pair left him dead and ran away.

Run away! Run away!

The Court of First Instance sentenced the first defendant, who was present, to a life-term in jail and the same sentence was handed to the second defendant in absentia. The lawyer of the defendant Ali Al Haddad appealed against the verdict yesterday. The majority of opinions called for penalising the two defendants to life imprisonment. Al Haddad said there was still the Court of Cassation to contest the verdict.

Link.

They should be sorry for doing something so asinine. God will be their judge.

Great site.

This guy must have a very good lawyer:

TORONTO, Nov. 30 (UPI) -- A Toronto man has been acquitted of sexual assault charges, as medical officials said he was asleep at the time, with a disorder known as "sexsomnia."

That ranks right up there with "I don't know how that slipped in there".

Jan Luedecke, 33, met his victim at a party on July 6, 2003, and both had been drinking, the Toronto Sun reported. The woman, who can't be named, fell asleep on a couch and said she awoke to find him having sex with her. She pushed him off, then called the police.

She should have just stabbed his ass and claimed she had "stabarapistinthechestsomnia".

Luedecke claimed he fell asleep on the same couch and woke up when he was thrown to the floor.

Getting his and her clothes off didn't wake him though.

Sleep expert Dr. Colin Shapiro testified Luedecke had sexsomnia, which is sexual behavior during sleep, brought on by George Bush alcohol, sleep deprivation and genetics.

And that he didn't get enough hugs when he was a child.

The judgment outraged women's groups, the newspaper said.

"This is infuriating. It's another case of the courts not taking a woman seriously, adding yet another list to the list of excuses which men use for sexual assault," said Suzanne Jay, of the Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centers.

Link.

Everyone left the court room with a 10% I.Q. reduction. Next women will need four male witnesses to claim a rape. Congratulations Canuckistan, you're fast on your way to the eighteenth century. Women's groups everywhere should be outraged.

Santa's lap is being sold for $21 now. Poor children need not stop by:

A mall in Massachusetts issued an apology after a 4-year-old girl was apparently told she was not allowed to sit on Santa's lap unless she purchased a $21 picture of the meeting, according to a Local 6 News report. Maria Grigorian said she took her daughter, Michelle, to the North Shore Mall in Peabody to visit Santa Claus. However, when the 4-year-old got to the front of the line, she was not allowed to sit on Santa's lap because her mother did not have cash to pay for the picture.

Whoever turned her away does not have a soul and kills kittens for entertainment.

Grigorian said the least expensive photo offered was $21.

I thought photo processing was getting cheaper. Santa thinks he's an expensive whore.

"I am a single mom and don't have that money right now," Grigorian said. Michele was so upset over the incident that she burst into tears and left with her mother. "To see her crying and saying, 'Mommy I just want to tell Santa what I want for Christmas,'" Grigorian said. "I was heartbroken, totally heartbroken."

An official with the Northshore Mall has apologized and said a meeting with Santa is free of charge.

Link.

You can stuff it Northshore Mall. I hope nobody shops at your mall the rest of the holiday season. You want to ruin a 4 year olds Christmas? I hope yours is ruined as well. Take your ho ho whoring Santa and go crawl under a rock.

From the Department of Upcoming Girl on Girl Action courtesy of Michelle Malkin:

Janeane Garofalo, left-wing actress-turned-Air America radio host, is a miserable woman. Last week before the holidays, she turned up on cable TV. No, not to count her blessings -- but to rant against conservative journalist Bob Novak, author Ann Coulter, and the Fox News Channel. She didn't have anything better to do for Thanksgiving?

Maybe she just needed a smoke. Garofalo is a pundit just like you Michelle. It's what she gets paid to do. You both make money doing the same thing.

Accessorized by a permanent scowl (hard to believe she was once considered a comedienne), Ms. Garofalo accused conservatives of having "an anger management problem." Without a trace of irony, the frowning Garofalo griped about "right-wing partisan hacks" who "are always on the verge of punching somebody or always behave as if they've just been cut off in traffic."

And that is what they get paid to do. Personally, I think she and Sean Hannity have feelings for one another. Maybe Michelle has sensed this too, and is a tad jealous.

This, dear readers, is a classic case of liberal projection. Like CNN executive Jonathan Klein, who derided Fox's audience as full of "angry white men, and those men tend to be rabid," and liberal comedian Bill Maher, who also railed that "Republicans need anger management" and are possessed with a "vein-popping, gut-churning rage that consumes the entire right wing," Ms. Garofalo crossly blames the Right while denying the pathological wrath and fury that characterize the unhinged Left.

Good point Michelle. I do sense a bit of anger. Maybe just a wee bit.

Who are you calling angry, Ms. Garofalo? You want political road rage? Let's start with Al. Take your pick: Sharpton. Gore. Franken. Yearrghh!

No, that would be Howard.

Now, open your eyes:

It isn't out-of-control conservatives tossing Molotov cocktails at police officers in San Francisco, burning American soldiers in effigy, and smearing pig's blood and feces on the walls and windows of military recruitment centers across the country to protest on behalf of peace.

True.

It isn't rage-blinded conservative professors who embrace fragging (the murder of American soldiers by their fellow soldiers on the battlefield) as a legitimate anti-war tactic.

True.

It isn't vengeful conservatives torching SUVs, condo developments, and research facilities, and targeting biotech and pharmaceutical company employees and their families to protest on behalf of the environment.

True.

It wasn't mad conservatives sporting "F--- Bush" license plates, punching cardboard cutouts of the president, and vowing to secede after losing the 2004 presidential election.

True. But there were some doing that after Clinton was elected.

It wasn't rabid conservatives who gloated over Ronald Reagan's death or John Ashcroft's pancreatitis.

True. Rachel Corrie is another story though. But then, bulldozers are a little more humorous than Alzheimers.

It wasn't a gut-busting conservative journalist who vowed to kill herself if Dick Cheney ran for president. (That would be the perpetually aggrieved Helen Thomas.)

True.

It wasn't hate-filled Republican officials who reportedly screamed "faggot" and "fruitcake" and "I'll break your nose" at their political opponents. (Those were all Democrats: Pennsylvania state legislator Vincent Fumo, California Rep. Pete Stark, and Virginia Rep. Jim Moran, respectively.)

I must have missed that one.

It isn't fanatical conservatives joking about the assassination of President Bush and the execution of his Republican aides. (That, Ms. Garofalo, would include your Air America colleagues. But I'll forgive you if you weren't tuned in to them. Few are.)

True, but again I refer back to the Clinton era and what was being said back at that time. The vindictiveness is worse now though.

And it wasn't ruthless conservatives who cheered last week when a liberal Bush-hater wrote on the popular DemocraticUnderground.com website last week:

I am an American, Born and Raised, but I am NOT a citizen of BUSH'S America. I want nothing to do with the country these people have created.

And for those who support them, Let's get Something Nice And Sparkling CLEAR:

Stay The [F---] Away From Me. Stay OUT of my personal space. I want NOTHING from you. I want NOTHING to do with you. I want NOTHING to do with your "vision" of what the world should be.

What DO I want from you?

Honestly?

I will freely admit there are days, and they are becoming more than not, that the Alien at Area 51 in Independence Day and I share quite a common ground on the answer to that question.

And I am NOT apologizing for it.

In the words of the Late, Great Bill Hicks, about the most conciliatory thing I can say for those people at this point is simply this:

Kill Yourself

Sounds like a few of my former co-workers. Lovely bunch they were.

My Christmas wish for Ms. Garofalo and her ilk: a mirror and a clue to make the yuletide bright. In the meantime, when vein-popping liberals start seething about the rage of the Right, the wisest action for peaceful right-wingers I can recommend is this:

Duck.

Link.

Look Michelle, nice rant, but it is natural for the left to be angry right now. They are out of power. When Clinton was in office there were plenty on the right who were screaming mad all the time, but not most. The majority of left-wingers aren't screaming mad as the smaller vocal minority that get plenty of media coverage these days. That doesn't mean they are happy with Bush either, it just means they don't go to the extremes you pointed out. Although the left does have more that would go to the extreme than the right, you and I both know that is not where most people fall.

Janeane appeals to a certain audience, as does Michelle. Both sides have their share of angry pundits ready to declare it will be the end of the world if their side loses. Think Mike Malloy and Michael Savage. Both can be entertaining to listen to as they go on their rants, and I do listen to both of them on occasion, but they both can't be taken completely seriously. They're out to make a show. They're there to entertain, and most of all, make some cash.

I'm interested to see how Janeane responds to this, but would rather these two ladies just get skimpy on the clothing, oil up, and get rasslin. Now that would be real entertainment. Just please don't suggest Malloy and Savage do that.

p.s.

I'm still waiting for my beach towel Janeane. Michelle, I am requesting one of you as well.

This follows their amazing recent discoveries of "LOL", "LMAO", and "fashizzle":

The New Slang Term "Asshat"

I'm not quite sure where this one came from but as I proceed through my various creative endeavors and require an appropriate yet hilarious insult word, "asshat" is by my side like a dear friend... a dear friend that supposes a hat designed for one's ass. Thanks, The New Slang Term "Asshat".

You can't make this stuff up. Go to the link and scroll to just before the comments. This makes me wonder if this asshat has discovered DVD's yet.

Link.

I like a good Christmas display just as much as anyone, but some people might be taking things a little too far at times. This would be real sweet to see somewhere secluded, but I can't imagine this guys neighbors are loving him too much during the holiday season. Link goes directly to video of this Christmas display complete with music. Enjoy:

Link to a person that needs attentions' Christmas display

Found by and brought to you courtesy of:

www.peacepositive.net

This one just has me shaking my head. I have to think of some stupid gimmick that is going to make me rich. Scientologists should eat this one up:

HOUSTON -- Patients are pouring into a north Houston doctor's office for help with everything from cancer to constipation. The treatment involves a footbath, but does it really provide a cure? The KPRC Local 2 Troubleshooters went undercover to find the answer.

It takes special techniques to figure out these kind of things. Good thing we have experts.

A hidden camera caught every crack and adjustment during a recent visit to Cypress Chiropractic, located at 9950 Cypresswood Drive. The appointment seemed routine until Dr. Brooke Fowler had the undercover patient, a KPRC producer, put her feet into what looked like a regular footbath. After soaking for several minutes, Fowler said the machine pulled out metal from the pores of the producer's feet. "See the black chunks? Those are mostly metals and you can pick up metals from tap water, smoking, tobacco or even second-hand smoke," Fowler said.

Cheap silverware, chinese take-out, flouride, bleached socks, modeling glue, chemtrails in the sky...

They are toxins that Fowler and her husband, Dr. Mark Hopkins, who also works at the clinic, said might add to the producer's PMS problem.

All my ex-wife needed was to soak her feet?

But the KPRC Troubleshooters found patients soaking for all sorts of medical conditions. "I brought my husband because he had a cyst on his head," a patient said. "He will treat (you), no matter what you have. You can go in there and he'll say, 'Sure, stick your feet in here. I'll fix you up.'" The female patient did not want to be identified, but she does want to know what's in the water. "This one's got, like, I swear, there's, like, sand in there," she said.

Not sand, he just hasn't changed the water in a while.

Several members of her family are coming to Cypress Chiropractic for everything from depression to skin problems. Cypress Chiropractic's office pamphlets said the footbaths help with arthritis, migraines, and even cancer. The doctors told patients that the colored specs in the tub were toxins pulled from their bodies and each poison is a different color. "He'll keep you going back week after week after week," the patient said.

No one's forcing you to go back "patient". You're just stupid enough to keep going back.

Each week, patients are charged hundreds in supplements, office visits and footbaths, the station reported. So, the Troubleshooters went to Rice chemistry professor Andrew Barron to find out what the patients are actually getting for their money.

The experts are baffled. Time to go to specialized scientist. Does it get any stupider than this?

"Absolutely nothing is really the straight answer," Barron said. He tested the water from the KPRC producer's footbath.

Nothing is true. All is permitted.
Hasan i Sabbah

"We've got calcium and sodium, which we would expect," Barron said. He found metals, but no toxins that could physically come through the pores of someone's feet. "To be pulling out chunks of magnesium or copper, if that's the claim, seems difficult," Barron said.

"Seems difficult"? This is the super expert? We demand another expert!

Dr. Charles Layne, with the University of Houston's Department of Health and Human Performance, read the research on the footbath, but still has questions, specifically about the metals that are supposedly toxic. "Even if these could be drawn out or are being drawn out by this process, I don't understand why these are toxic," Layne said.

Slowly we start to discover that this just might be shenanigans.

"Scientists say you're not pulling metals out through people's feet," KPRC's Amy Davis said.

"Then you're checking the wrong studies," Hopkins said.

The manufacturer of the footbath claims a battery creates a negative charge in the water that helps to grab onto the toxins in a patient's body and suck them out. Barron said the problem is not with the studies, but with the science.

Why don't they just give the water a positive charge and start putting stuff like vitamins into the patients?

"There is no evidence that it would have any effect whatsoever, other than having a pleasant feeling," he said.

"We see patients every day come in and they get better. And like I said, we've got testimonials to prove it, tons of them," Hopkins said. As a chiropractor, Hopkins said he makes it clear he does not treat conditions. He treats patients who suffer from conditions. And as long as they're happy, he said he would continue letting them soak.

Link.

Oh he's soaking them alright. I don't know who's worse. This quack, the patients who go see him, or these Troubleshooter experts who went seeking scientific opinion, and still left this piece open ended to the viewer to decide if this is valid or not. May none of these people ever reproduce ever, ever, again. Someday I can see myself opening a clinic with nothing but a vacuum hose.

It's a crime to do what kids have been doing for generations:

PALM COAST, Fla. -- The Flagler County Sheriff's Office said two elementary students were taken into custody after pretending a plastic bag of parsley was marijuana. The 10-year-old girls are students at Old Kings Elementary School. An arrest report said the girls were showing classmates a plastic bag with a green leafy substance they said was marijuana.

I think my whole 4th grade class would have spent time at juvenile hall if this was law back in my childhood.

School officials learned of the alleged bag of marijuana and called the girls into a conference with their parents. According to officials, the girls said they brought the bag of parsley to school as a prank. A spokeswoman for the sheriff's office said it is against the law in Florida to claim that a substance is a drug. The girls have been suspended from school and must attend drug awareness classes.

Link.

Are doctors who give placebos exempt from this? This is just asinine. These girls get busted for pretending parsley is pot as a joke, but Tom Cruise and his ilk go scott-free pretending a science fiction story is a religion, and milking thousands of people of their life savings.

This is just stupid, but fun:

MANCHESTER, N.H. (AP) -- He works at a Wendy's, and his name is Ronald MacDonald -- but now he may be known as the Hamburglar. Two workers at a Wendy's in Manchester, New Hampshire have been charged with taking money from the safe.

One of the suspects is Ronald MacDonald. Police say the restaurant's manager called them early this morning after he saw MacDonald and the other man taking cash out of the restaurant's safe. Link.

Ronald MacDonald is a real clown alright.

On an unrelated note, I came across this blog today. It looks like the author is trying desperately to get sued by somebody. The name says it all:

http://libelousclaimsaboutlargecorporations.blogspot.com/

Have fun with that blog whoever you are. :)

Are they going to slap pink triangles on these guys too? Fred Phelps unavailable for comment:

Dubai - Men arrested at what a United Arab Emirates official said appeared to be a gay wedding are to be given hormone therapy, officials said on Tuesday. The United state department condemned the forced medical treatment of gay couples in the Muslim Gulf Arab state and called on the UAE to comply with international legal standards.

Except for Jerry Falwell, who is requesting the recipe for this magical potion that cures "teh ghey".

Police raided a hotel earlier this month where 26 homosexuals of Asian, Arab and UAE origin were at a party. At least 12 were dressed in women's clothes and wearing makeup at what an official said appeared to be a wedding celebration.

It looks like one couple couldn't afford a wedding burqa. Did the police inspect each of their "packages" to make sure this was correct?

Colonel Najm al-Sayar said the foreigners were likely to be deported while the locals, who are being held in the capital Abu Dhabi, would undergo hormonal therapy - most likely induced testosterone. "They will be given psychological, medical and sociological treatment. Some of them will be given male hormones because some actually took female hormones," Sayar said.

"Allahu Ackbar! Achmed has got the nice rack!" What Sayar is saying is they need to ditch the boobies and grow beards. That'll take "teh ghey" out of them.

"This kind of behaviour is immoral in our society and so we must address the issue." Homosexuality is forbidden by law in most Arab states.

Beating your biatches with a stick still gets the thumbs up though.

In Washington, state department spokesperson Sean McCormack said: "The United States condemns the arrest of a dozen same-sex couples in the United Arab Emirates and a statement by the interior ministry spokesperson that they will be subjected to government-ordered hormone and psychological treatment. "The arrest of these individuals is part of a string of recent group arrests of homosexuals in the UAE. We call on the government of the United Arab Emirates to immediately stop any ordered hormone and psychological treatment and to comply with the standards of international law." Link.

Oh, that's going to improve our relationship with the region for sure. There are reasons why that area of the world hates us. What they are doing is stupid, but you can't condemn them for doing what they consider part of their culture, and part of that is intolerance of homosexuality. It's much like the culture at Pat Robertsons 700 Club.

I myself could care less what consenting adults do in their bedroom, as long as no one is getting hurt and the children are kept out of it. The way to get places like the UAE to change their view on the subject is to show them the benefits of turning a blind eye to the matter. Show them that for every homosexual couple out there, that could mean 2 hot chicas are now free for the rest of the guys in this sexually repressed region. Gay men also do not reproduce. This could mean more resources for the children of the straight couples. They also tend to have more free money available. This is good for the local merchants. Of course, lesbianism is a global tragedy as fas as I am concerned, but let the gay guys go. Besides, it would be interesting to see what kind of parade they would put on in Dubai.

This may sound like a good idea at first to some, but is going to lead to many problems in the long run:

CRAWFORDVILLE - -- Corrections officials and Gov. Jeb Bush on Wednesday announced the conversion of a third state prison into a faith-based facility. Wakulla Correctional Institution, south of Tallahassee, becomes the largest faith-based prison in the nation, with capacity of 1,622 inmates. A men's prison in Lawtey and a women's prison in Hillsborough County also have been converted. The faith-based movement in the prison system "is setting an environment for a person who has made a mistake, or done something wrong, to still be able to live in a safe, secure place where they can develop as an individual, as a person, as a human being," said James Crosby, secretary of the state Department of Corrections.

Okay, that sounds good. It would keep those who do not want to be part of gang life or the criminal element safe from the those that do. That is the thinking here. Right?

Bush said demand for the faith-based system merited its expansion. More than 300 inmates are on a waiting list for existing programs, according to the corrections department. The concept is too new to provide a definitive study of recidivism rates, but corrections officials say those in faith-based programs have fewer fights, get fewer disciplinary reports and experience fewer mental health events such as depression, anxiety attacks and explosive anger.

Read the rest of the story here.

This is not going to work for a number of reasons. Is it not too much to think that every single group of people are soon going to be wanting to have their own specialty group prisons? I'm not talking just about religious groups, but cultural groups, gang groups, and don't forget the scientologists. What is to deter people who are not of a certain group from claiming they are to get into these specialty prisons? Are there going to be special tests to see if these people do qualify to be part of the specialty prison?

Part of the deterent factor for crime is that prison is hard. It is not a place to find comfort, fellowship, and discovering your innerself. That is what cults are for. If people get the picture that prison life is going to be easy, they will be more likely to commit crimes. I'm not going to get into the aspect of seperation of church and state, as the growing trend in this country is privately owned prisons, which can blur the lines.

Keep prisons as prisons. Don't turn them into bible camps.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. I did. What a day. Oh, except for Dallas blowing that game against Denver.

It's time for the ISM to wake up for a while out of their Jew hate, and realize that their help is not wanted:

Arab leaders in Hevron have contacted the city's Jewish leaders for help in getting rid of self-proclaimed anarchist volunteers who, they complain, are destroying their traditional way of life. The anarchists, many of whom are members of the International Solidarity Movement, flock to flashpoints throughout Judea and Samaria, ostensibly to help PA Arabs contend with IDF closures and protect them from harassment. In actuality, many of the volunteers seek confrontations with IDF soldiers and local Jewish residents, taking advantage of their Western passports to cause havoc - knowing that, at worst, they will be deported, not jailed.

They are there to fan the flames on an already tense situation. What they hope to do is provoke someone from the IDF to take action on them so they can take it back to the media. True scumbags.

The local Arabs in the Hevron region whom the activists claim to be helping are now complaining that the American and European students behave in a provocative and offensive manner in Hevron's public areas. The Arabs say the activists disrespect the moral norms and standards of the local population. Several local Arab residents told the Kol Ha'Ir newspaper that the activists have been exposing the local youths to drug use and sexual promiscuity.

Apparently they didn't notice that "it's a different culture".

One interviewee told Kol Ha'Ir that the volunteers show a disregard for the religious norms of the local villages and teach the local youth to reject and disrespect the traditions of their forefathers. "These anarchists come here and undermine the education we give our children. At first we took them in with hospitality - after all, they claimed they wanted to help us, so why kick them out? But very quickly they infuriated me with their lewd behavior."

The "free love" and "if it feels good, do it" things aren't looked upon very highly in the Islamic world. If you think that what you are doing is something that would bother fundamentalist Christians, you can be pretty sure most Muslims won't like it either.

In a bid to rid the region of the anarchists, local Arab leaders approached representatives of the Jewish community in Hevron - a rare, but not unheard of occurrence - in order to find a solution. The two sides agreed to have Arabic-speaking Jewish observers along Hevron's main thoroughfares to replace the anarchists in ensuring calm between the city's Jewish and Arab populations. The left-wings activists would then be informed by the local Arab population that they appreciate their offer to help, but that they are no longer needed.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Hevron spokesman Noam Arnon confirmed the arrangement to Arutz-7, saying that the new replacement observers will be acceptable to local Arabs. He added that the international anarchists came to Hevron come from Western cultures steeped in sexual lewdness and depravity, permissiveness, and drug use. "Their presence in Hebron serves to inflame violence because they are seeking to create provocations and encourage violence," Arnon said. He added that the observers end up causing more trouble for the local Arab population, by antagonizing soldiers and brazenly leading local Arabs in between Jewish homes.

They came to see a fight, and doggone it, if there are none they will do their best to make sure they get one. If things are peaceful they would have made their trip in vain.

Arnon recalled a specific incident in which an Arab woman tried to stab an IDF soldier with a knife. The soldiers grabbed her, but were attacked by a group of anarchist volunteers who tried to free the woman and take the knife out of her hand and hide it.

Protecting a would be murderer? These folks think nothing wrong with this, as it was just an Israeli who has it coming to him/her.

In recent months, Jewish organizations have also come to Hevron to stand up to the anarchist activists. The Jewish activists investigate the anarchists regarding their entry to Israel and strengthen the morale of the soldiers in withstanding attacks by leftist extremists.

Link.

It's about time these nitwits are getting the boot. They have not made anything more peaceful in the region, and some have even attended rallies put on by the terrorist group Hamas. This is also the same group that was trying to keep smuggling tunnels from being bulldozed. They are not for peace, otherwise they would come out against all bloodshed. You never hear these left wing extremist condemn any suicide attacks on Israelis. They believe that Israel should be wiped off the map, and the Jews driven into the sea. These people may talk about peace, but they are blinded to the hate trip they're on. The Palestinian people do not need these Nimrods help. The Palestinian people are very capable of handling their situation without help and hindrance by a bunch of radical white kids that are frustrated with life and need some scape goat to focus their anger on. Go home ISM. No one needs you there, and you've worn out your welcome with the very people who you thought you were going to help. Go home and learn that the underdog isn't always right. Go home before the Jews decide to go ahead and lend the Palistineans some Caterpillars to use as they please. Go home and get a life.

Eric Bauman is still a thief. Here's a little tune about him that is based on a Tre Parker and Matt Stone tune:

Well, Eric Bauman is a bitch,
He's a big fat bitch,
He's the biggest bitch in the whole wide bitch,
He's a stupid bitch,
if there ever was a bitch,
He's a bitch to all the boys and girls.

on Monday he's a bitch,
on Tuesday he's a bitch,
on Wednesday through Saturday, he's a bitch,
then on Sunday, just to be different,
he's a super kingkong kameha-meha biatch!

Have you ever met Eric Bauman,
he's the biggest bitch in the whole wide bitch,
he's a mean old bitch,
and he has stupid hair, he's a bitch,
bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
he's a stupid bitch,
Eric Bauman is a bitch and hes such a dirty bitch.
Talk to kids around the world it might go a little bit somethin like this.

(translations in japanese, french, deutsch and african)

Have you ever met Eric Bauman,
he's the biggest bitch in the whole wide bitch,
he's a mean old bitch,
and he has stupid hair, he's a bitch,
bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
he's a stupid bitch,
Eric Buaman's a bitch and hes such a dirty bitch.

I Really mean it, Eric Bauman
hes a big fat farking bitch

a big fat farking bitch, Eric Bauman yeaaaaaaaahhhh!

Is Jacko just trying to fit in with the Bahrain crowd a little better?:

LOS ANGELES Nov 23, 2005 — The Anti-Defamation League on Wednesday demanded that Michael Jackson apologize for allegedly calling Jews "leeches" in a private telephone message that was recorded two years ago and has now surfaced in connection with a lawsuit against the pop star. "Michael Jackson has an anti-Semitic streak, and hasn't learned from his past mistakes," said a statement issued by Abraham H. Foxman, the league's national director. "It seems every time he has a problem in his life, he blames it on Jews."

He has a new set of "meany" people.

Jackson infuriated Jewish groups in 1995 when his song "They Don't Care About Us" included the lyrics "Jew me, sue me, everybody do me, kick me, kike me." Jackson apologized, saying the lyrics were meant to demonstrate the hatefulness of racism, anti-Semitism and stereotyping. He then changed the lyrics.

Oh, he demonstrated that for sure.

On Tuesday, ABC's "Good Morning America" aired portions of a 2003 voice message that Jackson allegedly left for a former adviser, Dieter Wiesner, in which he allegedly accused Jews of leaving performers penniless. The message was among about a dozen released by attorney Howard King, who represents Wiesner and another former adviser who are suing Jackson. A transcript of the message provided Wednesday by King's office quotes Jackson as saying: "They suck them like leeches … I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of it.

"They start out the most popular person in the world, make a lot of money, big house, cars and everything and end up penniless. It's a conspiracy. The Jews do it on purpose."

I can see that his time with Farrakhan was very productive. Oh wait...2003? It looks like the two had already much in common by the time they met.

Jackson's spokeswoman, Raymone K. Bain, said Wednesday the singer had no comment on the report.

He said some of his favoritest childrens are Jewish.

King said he released the messages to keep Jackson from appearing sympathetic in two upcoming lawsuits. "When you're engaged in a civil suit with Michael Jackson or any celebrity like him, your trial starts long before the jury gets impaneled," King said. "I want to show early on that when he starts trying to act like the victim … we have the evidence to show that he's not the victim, he's the victimizer."

Haul his ass back in court. I'm tired of this asshat getting away with his bullshiat.

Link

It's official. His season is over:

PHILADELPHIA (AP) - Terrell Owens' season is effectively over after an arbitrator ruled Wednesday that the Philadelphia Eagles were justified in suspending him for four games.

Arbitrator Richard Bloch wrote that the Eagles clearly proved that the suspension was justified, and were within their right to pay their All-Pro receiver but not allow him to return "due to the nature of his conduct and its destructive and continuing threat to the team."

The Eagles released a one-paragraph statement thanking Bloch and saying Philadelphia is looking forward to "moving on with our preparations for Sunday's game vs. Green Bay and the rest of the 2005 season and will have no further comment on this issue."

Read the rest here.

Buh-bye Terrell. Good luck next year trying to find someone willing to take your foolish ass.

Say a prayer for them all. I found some footage of some action in Iraq. Warning: The video is graphic.

Troop footage from Fallujah.

This is plain disgusting:

HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas man executed in 1993 for a robbery-murder was probably wrongfully convicted, according to a prosecutor, the jury forewoman, an alibi witness and even a victim, the Houston Chronicle said on Tuesday. "Ruben Cantu had nothing to do with the murder, attempted murder and robbery of the two men ... I should know," a friend and fellow gang member, David Garza, told the newspaper.

Why is this just coming out now?

Cantu, only 17 when the crime took place, was convicted of murdering Pedro Gomez during a 1984 robbery largely on the testimony of a single eyewitness, Juan Moreno. Moreno, then 19, an illegal immigrant wounded during the robbery, now says he is positive Cantu was not at the scene. Moreno twice failed to identify Cantu to police, but did so when they asked him a third time, the Chronicle said. Cantu was put to death by lethal injection in 1993, when he was 26. "(Police) told me they were certain it was him, and that's why I testified," Moreno told the newspaper. "That was bad to blame someone that was not there."

Oh really? Well I am glad you took the time to come to that realization and share it with us.

Texas, President George W. Bush's home state, leads the United States in executions, with 355 since 1982. A Democrat, Ann Richards, was governor when Cantu was put to death.

Damn! I was getting so ready to blame Bush for this.

Cantu would not be executed now - the U.S. Supreme Court ruled this year that it executions are illegal for crimes committed by minors. Garza confessed to robbery as part of the 1984 break-in in San Antonio. Currently in prison for another crime, he said he was with another teen who committed the murder, not Cantu.

True to your homies, aren't you Garza?

Garza had immunity from further prosecution under a plea deal, but he only sent a cryptic note offering help to Cantu's lawyer a month before the execution date. The attorney, Nancy Barohn, said Garza never offered anything concrete and Cantu never indicated that Garza could clear him. Miriam Ward, forewoman of the jury that sent Cantu to his fate, said the entire process failed.

Another understatement. I hope you're getting your ass pounded Garza.

"We did the best we could with the information we had, but with a little extra work, a little extra effort, maybe we'd have gotten the right information," she told the newspaper. "The bottom line is an innocent person was put to death for it. We all have our finger in that." The Bexar County District Attorney at the time, Sam Millsap Jr., now agrees police led Moreno to the identification.

I hope your happy with blood on your hands SAPD. Needed to clear up the case fast to get to something more important?

"We have a system that permits people to be convicted based on evidence that could be wrong because it's mistaken or it's corrupt," Millsap, now in private practice, told the Chronicle. The Bexar County District Attorney's Office, which prosecuted, did not return a call from Reuters on Tuesday.

Let's see how this shapes up. I believe that all partys involved in negligence and keeping their mouths shut when they all knew they were sending an innocent man to his death need to spend some time behind bars. They all took place in murder.

Link.

I found this picture of a head banging Pat Robertson doing his best Ozzy impersonation. It came from a conspiracy theory website that likes to pretend it is news.

Picture of Pat Robertson readying himself for the mosh pit.

Link for funny alternative news stories if you're into that kind of thing.

Although some of their stuff does make you wonder...

I'm surprised she could both reach the gas pedal and see out the window. At least she knew to pull over when she saw the flashing lights:

ALDEN, Kan. --An elderly man accused of allowing a 7-year-old girl to drive his pickup has been charged in a two-count complaint. Alan Sleeper, 88, was charged Nov. 16 with endangering a child and allowing an unauthorized minor to operate a motor vehicle. Police say Sleeper was in the passenger seat when a Kansas Highway Patrol trooper pulled the girl over in late August driving the man's truck in a rural area at 74 mph in a 55 mph zone. Sleeper reportedly told the trooper he "didn't want her to drive that fast."

Link.

So it was the little girls fault eh sleeper? Becuase of his age, I almost feel sorry for the guy, but he's going to end up getting someone killed. Where are the girls parents? They should be driving these two around.

Anyone want to wager on how this man dies?:

POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. --A man who was struck in the head by a train this weekend was also hit in the head by a New York City subway car three years ago, officials said Monday. Parker T. Hall Houghtaling, of Stanfordville, 23, was hit in the head Nov. 18 by a Metro-North train as it pulled into the Poughkeepsie station. He was listed in stable condition Monday.

Out of all the things to be hit in the head with I'm sure a train ranks among the worst.

In 2002, Houghtaling was waiting at a subway station in Manhattan when he stuck his head out and was hit by a subway car. He was hospitalized with a shoulder injury, nose fractures and bruises, according to the Metropolitan Transit Authority. It was unclear Monday what led to either incident. MTA police are continuing an investigation, Metro-North spokeswoman Marjorie Anders said.

Try the BART trains in the SF Bay Area Parker. They may be a little softer. Dumbass.

Apparently this asshat isn't to intelligent when it comes to planning out things. That's a good thing:

ALEXANDRIA, Virginia (Reuters) - A U.S. man was found guilty on Tuesday of conspiring with and aiding al Qaeda and plotting to assassinate President George W. Bush. A 12-member federal jury at the U.S. District Court found Ahmed Abu Ali, 24, guilty of all charges in a nine-count indictment. He had been charged with conspiring to support and supporting al Qaeda, conspiracy to kill Bush and conspiracy to commit aircraft hijacking. U.S. District Judge Gerald Bruce Lee set a February 17, 2006, date to sentence Abu Ali, who faces life in prison.

Abu Ali was arrested in June 2003 while studying at a Saudi university. He signed confessions and made statements admitting to the plot against Bush and to having ties to an al Qaeda cell. He was held in Saudi Arabia for 20 months before being sent back to the United States earlier this year to face trial.

Have fun in the Saudi prison did you? They're not so nice over there, are they?

In the statements, Abu Ali said he and senior members of an al Qaeda cell in Medina, Saudi Arabia, discussed how he could kill Bush. He said they also talked about other types of attacks, including September 11-like hijackings that could be carried out in the United States. Prosecutors said Abu Ali's goal was to become a planner of terrorist operations like Mohamed Atta -- believed to be the ringleader of the September 11 hijackers.

Nice people you look up to there buddy. I guess you would off yourself as well seeing as you are a citizen of the Great Satan.

Abu Ali said he made up the confessions in order to stop members of the Saudi domestic security police from torturing him. Saudi officials deny the accusations of mistreatment. U.S. prosecutors -- who based most of their case against Abu Ali on statements made in Saudi Arabia -- said there was no evidence to prove Abu Ali had been tortured.

Link.

Sure there wasn't. *Wink*Wink* Somebody should have told him it was a different culture before he moved over there.

There are 2 stories coming out today of evidence of Gods presence in Texas. Both stories have pictures at the links, and I am going to keep my eyes open for the trifecta. We know how the Lord likes to work in threes. I will make sure to take a good hard look at my lunch to see if any patterns arise:

LAREDO, Texas -- An image on a truck tailgate has sparked a new wave of religious pilgrims in Texas. Portraits of Jesus Christ and a table full of candles surround what some are calling a miraculous image.

It looks like he is averting his eyes to what may be on the mud flaps.

Believers say the face of Jesus is visible in the dirt on the tailgate.

It's Gods way of writing "wash me please."

Since word of the vision got out, at least 150 people have made a pilgrimage to visit the truck. Some light candles, some take video or pictures and some just pray. The truck's owner, Julio Radillo, said he isn't going to drive this truck for a while. And when he does, he'll remove the tailgate as a memento.

Why do I picture candles around his tailgate?

Radillo said he thinks the image of Christ appeared as reminder to people to strengthen their faith.

Link.

And if divine pickups aren't your bag, we have something a little more in tune with nature for the ecology minded:

DALLAS -- Believers are flocking to a Dallas home to see what some say is the outline of the Virgin Mary on a tree. The outline was uncovered Saturday night on a tree in the front yard of the home.

Uncovered means the bark was removed from the tree. Bad on you Virgin Mary!

Dozens from around the area have come to see the tree, honoring the image with candles and prayers. The tree's owner said she's not worried about the traffic.

Nor does she care what the neighbors think of it.

She said she plans to let people gather in her yard as long as they want.

Link.

It's an attention whores wettest dream.

*****Update: Some Pilgrams Being Diverted To California*****

You know California couldn't let Texas get all of the attention:

Mysterious tears of blood that have appeared on a statue of the Virgin Mary at a church in California are being called a miracle by Catholic faithful, according to a Local 6 News report. Hundreds of people have gathered at a small Vietnamese church in Sacramento after reports circulated that the statue was crying tears of blood.

The tears must be for the 49ers last 2 seasons.

Local 6 News showed video of apparent tears of blood streaming down the face of the statue at the Catholic Martyrs Church. Church officials have contacted the Catholic Diocese in hopes an investigation will be launched. Many at the church are so certain the tears are real, they were seen crying themselves.

Everyone is in a boo hoo hoo mood today.

Ky Truong, who does maintenance at the church, said he saw the tears rolling down the statue Sunday. Officials at the church said they have tried to wipe away the liquid but they continue to return, according to the report.

News Link-Includes Video.

Okay, so todays score so far is Texas 2, California 1. There's still time though.

*****Updated Update: Foreigners Attempting To Weasel In On Pilgramage Dollars*****

Columbia has just seen your bloody teared Mary, and raised you one bloody teared Jesus:

Church authorities in Bogota, Columbia are studying a statue that reportedly began crying tears of blood during a Mass on Sunday. Hundreds of faithful are flocking to the statue of Jesus in Columbia to see the apparent tears, according to the Local 6 News report.

They've just bloodied the noses of Texas and California.

The statue arrived four days ago in Cali to honor the assassination of a Monsignor in the church who died two years ago, Local 6 News reported.

Video also at this link.

This is getting good. Score card so far; Texas 2, California 1, Foreigners 1. Let's see if this holds.

*****Update to Updated Update*****

Columbia declared the winner for today.

Davie Miles is a wanna-be. Becuase of this he is made fun of at school by some of his peers. That is why he pissed in the ice machine. It his all of his peers fault. This asshat certainly does have the blame game down pat. Picture of Davie Miles the dork and his ugly ass mom at the link:

A 15-year-old punk ass biatch boy who urinated in a Nicholas County High School ice machine said he dropped his pants and soiled the ice because he was tired of being bullied. "I'd do anything to get out of that school," said Davie Miles, a freshman at Nicholas County High School. "This way I knew I wouldn't have to go back."

He has genius written all over his punk face.

School officials say a student urinated in the ice machine on a dare. In an interview yesterday, Miles admitted to urinating in the ice, but said he did it to get kicked out of school -- not to make people sick.

He is too big of a pussy to get in a fight.

Miles, of Carlisle, said he would wake up before school each morning with knots in his stomach. He said groups of students taunted him, called him names and at times even shoved him. Why?
"They say I dress like a black person," Miles said. He said students frequently called him a "wigger," a term that he said describes "a white person who acts black."

"Dey be diseen me yo!"

"They told me if I was going to dress this way, I needed to learn to take up for myself," said Miles, who likes baggy clothes and hip-hop music and wears his hat cocked to the side.

"I'ma jus keepin it real dawg. Ya know?"

He doesn't fit in at the predominantly white school, his mother, Crystal Morris, 33, said. Morris said she spoke with Principal Doug Bechanan about the bullying earlier this year, after Miles came home from school crying.

"Boo hoo hoo! Dey clownin on me mite well be clownin on 50 cent hisself. Ya know eh? Cant dey see I'm the new slim shady biatch!"

She said Bechanan asked the students who were picking on Miles to sign a contract of sorts saying they would stop. But the bullying continued, she said. Bechanan did not return a phone message yesterday. Ben Buckler, chief of police for Nicholas County Schools, confirmed that Morris met with Bechanan about the bullying but he said he didn't know the details of that meeting.

So what did you two cover in your meeting?

Morris said things were so bad for her son that she came home from work one day to find him trying on his stepfather's clothing, which includes regular-size shirts and tighter fitting pants.

At least he wasn't trying her clothing on at the time.

"She told me I shouldn't have to change my clothes to get respect at school," Miles said. He kept wearing his clothes and the bullying continued. Miles said his grades started to fall. When a student dared him to urinate in a gym-lobby ice machine about 1:30 p.m. Wednesday -- just before physical education class -- he said he saw the prank as a way out. About 33 people used the ice machine before another student reported the prank to a principal the next day. School officials suspended Miles for 10 days, pending an expulsion hearing set for Nov. 29. Buckler said officials also are considering charging him with 33 counts of second-degree wanton endangerment and criminal mischief.

Now Davie can go to school in juvenile hall. They're going to love you in there Davie. You're going to be crying your punk ass eyes out when you see how much respect they are going to have for you.

Miles was released into the custody of his mother, who said she was furious with him at first. "I screamed at him all the way home. I was so embarrassed," Morris said. "I told him 'you'll never be able to go back to that school again' and he said, 'Yeah, I know, that's the whole point.' "I just felt like I had failed as a mother, because I couldn't protect him," she said.

No, you failed as a mother becuase you decided to dress your children funny.

Morris said she may have to sell Miles' 1994 Pontiac Firebird, a present for his upcoming 16th birthday, to pay a $1,500-a-year out-of-district tuition fee for nearby Bourbon County High School. Although it's his dream car, Miles said he's willing to do whatever it takes to leave Nicholas County High. "If it'll get me out of there, I'm OK with it," he said.

Link to story.

You can't run away from the fact that you are a wanna-be Davie Miles. The kids at your new school will know your a dork when they see you.

It's not just in Iran where the mad mullahs run the gamult. New Zealand has joined the race to stupidity in its school districts:

Pupils at an Upper Hutt school are up in arms after being told not to hug each other at school. Fergusson Intermediate pupils say the school has threatened to dish out detentions if they are caught hugging each other, a move many feel is heavy-handed.

Actually, it's "heavy handed" that your mullahs are worried about. Hugging is just the first step to further base reaching ya know. Afterwards drugs come into play somewhere. I'm pretty sure they're sure of that.

But principal Paul Patterson denied a hugging ban was in place. The school was just trying to encourage appropriate behaviour. He said the issue unfolded several weeks ago when a group of female students got carried away hugging each other inappropriately before classes. "It was just kids being silly. Just kids going a bit overboard and being stupid. Huggyhuggy, kissy-kissy stuff."

Good lord! It's worse than we imagined! It leads to being teh ghey!

Though there was nothing sexual in the girls' antics, the school took action because the administration is full of nerds not getting any of concerns the public displays of affection were becoming an interference. Several girls were asked to refrain from hugging and kissing. Detentions could be given if they behaved inappropriately, Mr Patterson said from behind a two way mirror being put in place along with a tissue dispenser.

Does it make you feel "icky" or "tingly" Mr. Patterson?

But pupils assumed a blanket hugging ban had been imposed and decided to take action of their own – organising a lunchtime "huggathon" as a protest on the school field. Mr Patterson was red in the face, but blue in the nether regions said the standoff was defused once the school explained it was not outlawing hugs, but encouraging behaviour that conformed to the school's code of conduct. The girls agreed to call off the huggathon, he said. "We talked to them about what's appropriate at school and what's not appropriate. I said: `We're not talking about banning hugging. We're looking for appropriate behaviour and some of it's getting a bit inappropriate' – and they agreed."

Hugs=Innapropraite Behavior. Yep. Loosen the turban on your head, will ya?

But huggathon instigator year-seven pupil Brogan Marshall, 12, said hugging was just the way she and friends greeted each other. They felt the school's hardline approach was over the top. "The principal banned us from hugging our friends as friends. We thought it was pretty unfair. It was only in our lunchtimes and that's our free time from school. It's basically just to say `hi and bye'."

You're not doing anything wrong Brogan. Lots of freinds do that. Mr. Patterson is the one with the problem. You're making him feel funny and icky, and he is the one that needs help. Not you.

Brogan said the huggathon was to have included every female student, but the plan was foiled when a teacher spied a classmate's note.

Mr. Patterson has put the note away for...er....safe keeping.

Though it was fair banning hugging between intermediate-aged boys and girls, she felt same-sex hugging was harmless. Neither she nor Mr Patterson knew of any pupils who had received hugging detentions.

Link.

The affection police have always had me wonder what kind of bringing up they had. What's wrong with love or affection or even a handshake between freinds. Does love scare you that bad? I don't have hugs between my male freinds and I, but will give them a pat on the back or an arm around if they need comfort. My female freinds all get hugs and occasional kisses from me. It's human Mr. Patterson. It's what seperates us from things like snails. Quit being a gargoyle.

It is really making me nervous to see Iraq buddying up with asshat Mahmoud "Wipe Israel Off The Map" Ahmadinejad:

TEHRAN, Iran (AP) The Iranian president emerged from meetings with his Iraqi counterpart Monday, saying the two countries have "one soul in two bodies."

That sounds kinky. May there be a fatwa on you.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said the United States, which has nearly 160,000 troops in Iraq in support of the government, wanted to block better ties between the Shiite Muslim-dominated nations.

Of course he doesn't mention any reasons why. Maybe we don't want another mad mullah ran theocracy that seeks nuclear technology for "peaceful" purposes, while stating out of the other side of its' mouth that it would like to see Israel wiped off the map.

"Iran completely supports freedom for the Iraqi people, the current political developments and national sovereignty. Those who have deployed hundreds of thousand military forces in Iraq are not interested in seeing better relations between our two countries," Iranian television quoted Ahmadinejad, as saying after meeting Iraqi President Jalah Talabani, who is paying a three-day visit.

Ummm. No. You wan't another theocracy there. That is not democracy. Try giving it your own people first before spewing your inane stupidity on everyone else. At least he got the second part half right. We would like to see good relations, just not with you and your type of hate filled government.

Washington has accused Iran of meddling in Iraqi affairs after U.S.-led forces drove Saddam Hussein from power in April 2003. Iran denies the charge. "History, religion, culture, geography and mutual interests have bound the two countries. Tehran and Baghdad have one soul in two bodies," Ahmadinejad said.

The important thing to look at in that statement is "geography". Don't think that the mad mullahs don't have a new Greater Persia in mind.

"A democratic, independent and developed Iraq will become Iran's best pawn friend. Iran will stand by the Iraqi people," Ahmadinejad said.

Under Saddam, Iraq fought an eight-year war against Iran that killed more than 1 million people on both sides. Talabani said he was looking for closer ties and help with terrorism.

Read the rest here.

Mahmoud needs to shut the hell up, and give democracy a real chance in his own country before judging what anyone else is doing. Why don't you speak out on letting real candidates run in your country Mahmoud? Why only those who have been approved before hand by your "panties in a wad" mullahs are eligable to run for office? The young people of Iran are growing restless with you and the mullahs, and want their freedom. The time for you and your ilk is running short Mahmoud. Scream. Scream loudly. Scream your little hypocrite ass off while you disappear into some obscure dark corner of history. The people of Iran and Iraq will prevail, and your kind will be flushed down the shitter. You're taking a dive Mahmoud.

I usually don't post e-mail type stuff unless it comes from Nigeria, but will make an exception with this:

For anyone who has ever done woodworking; worked on cars, boats, airplanes,
and/or handled tools of any kind!

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal
bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings
your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted
airplane part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the
workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and
hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say,
"Ouch...."

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes
until you die of old age.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
principle.
It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the
more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future
becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they
can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable
objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the
wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2
socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after
you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly
under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2 X 4: Used for levering an automobile upward
off a hydraulic jack handle.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another hydraulic
floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for
spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog **** off your boot.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known
drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn't use anyway.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength on everything
you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large prybar that inexplicably has an
accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a
drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which
is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, it's main
purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm
howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle
of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; but can also be used,
as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power
plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by
hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last over
tightened 58 years ago by someone at ERCO, and neatly rounds off their
heads.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket
you needed to remove in order to replace a 50c part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used
as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts not far from
the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard
cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents
such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector
magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while
yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also the next tool that you
will need.

EXPLETIVE: A balm, usually applied verbally in hindsight, which somehow
eases those pains and indignities following our every deficiency in
foresight.

Some more that come to mind:

WOOD LATHE - a tool to sling pieces of wood around your shop in a circle
like configuration (except of course for that area blocked by your body.

BAND SAW - a device for rapidly trimming fingers and fingernails

1/2 DRILL - similar to a drill press but snatches the operator's body and
spins it around when the bit is suddenly bound.

HANDSAW (hand or power) - see band saw above.

You would think these lazy bums would have some kind of value on work. They were probably to busy practicing their gay looking marching steps:

SALEM, Ore. The American Nazi Party has lost its litter-control sponsorship of a stretch of local road after it failed to clean it up. There was widespread public concern in January after Marion County officials allowed the group to "adopt" a stretch of road and post its name on road signs as part of a volunteer litter-cleanup program.

This is stupid. Clean up the Big Gulp cups and beer cans, and replace that with signs for the Nazis. That's like replacing an empty candy wrapper on your grass with a turd.

The group's name on the green-and-white sponsorship signs will be replaced by the name of Jerry Miller, a computer programmer who says he had long thought about sponsoring road cleanup. But Miller said he didn't put his name on a waiting list for that stretch until the skinhead group had made news. His application was approved this month, officials said.

Good move. Let it be known that the Nazis and their word are worthless.

"I just like not having litter all over the road I drive up and down," Miller said. "Personally, I think that when it looks trashy, people have less inhibitions for throwing things out." Before withdrawing the adoption by the American Nazi Party, Kate Webb, the county's Adopt-a-Road coordinator, tried to contact the applicant by mail. The applicant was alternately identified as C. Marchand and Dylan Marchand. The application also listed a Web site for the Tualatin Valley Skins. Correspondence was returned unopened.

Maybe they just have a little difficulty reading. Or maybe they just thought it would be too much work to get the letter opener.

"After so long, if they don't do anything they're removed from the program," Webb said. In September, Marion County announced new rules for the road program, spurred by the controversy. Groups now are required to be local. They must commit to the program for at least one year and accumulate 75 volunteer hours before the county spends as much as $600 for a pair of signs. Miller, 55, already has gotten started even though his sponsorship does not begin until January. He and his family filled 10 trash bags in their first cleanup. "I felt good about it," Miller said. "It was a great family outing."

Link.

Thank you Mr. Miller for taking care of what was needing to be taken care of. Never leave a man's job to be handled by slothful children in jackboots.

And now it's time for the monthly "Zarqawi Dead?" post"

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Iraq's foreign minister said Monday that terror leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi might have been killed in a gunfight with U.S. forces over the weekend, but U.S. military sources told NBC News that's probably not the case and that troops likely "just missed" capturing him.

This asshat is more slippery than an eel at a K-Y Jelly factory.

"American and Iraqi forces are investigating the possibility that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi's corpse is among the bodies of some terrorists who died in the special military operation in Mosul," Hoshyar Zebari told Jordan's official Petra news agency during a visit to Moscow.

If the mouth wasn't burned away, he should be easy to spot.

A Pentagon source said that the military did have intelligence that indicated al-Zarqawi was meeting in a Mosul home with high-level Iraq in al-Qaida lieutenants.

Huh? I hope their intelligence was better than that.

As soldiers closed in on the site, there was an exchange of small arms fire, then it appears that three al-Qaida suspects blew themselves up to avoid capture.The military is conducting DNA tests on flesh and blood recovered from the scene, but a Pentagon official said indications are that al-Zarqawi is not among those killed. "The information was solid. We just missed him," said one Pentagon source.

Hey Al-Qaeda! No need to go popping your top off.

Separately, White House spokesman Trent Duffy said Sunday that reports of al-Zarqawi's death were "highly unlikely and not credible." "We have no indication that al-Zarqawi was killed in this fight and we continue operations to search for him," added Lt. Col. Barry Johnson, a U.S. military spokesman. The elusive al-Zarqawi has narrowly escaped capture in the past. U.S. forces said they nearly caught him in a February 2005 raid that recovered his computer.

I heard he had an interesting porn collection.

Link.

This is just horrible:

Harare - A six-year-old Zimbabwean boy killed a four-year-old by burying him alive in a river bed, state radio reported on Monday. According to the report, the killing happened in Buhera, eastern Zimbabwe, after the two children were playing.

The report said: "At a later stage, the six-year-old boy asked the four-year-old boy to lay his head in a hole he had dug and covered him with sand."

The child's body was discovered by his aunt and sister, who reported the killing to the police. Police spokesperson Oliver Mandipaka said that under Zimbabwean law, the six-year-old was considered a minor and couldn't, therefore, be charged with murder.

Link.

This is a few days old, but it makes me sick everytime I think about:

BOSTON -- A member of the Saudi royal family learned Thursday where he will serve a prison sentence for running down a man while driving under the influence. NewsCenter 5's Jack Harper reported Bader Al-Saud, 23, pleaded guilty to running down and killing Orlando Ramos, of Cambridge, Mass, in 2002 while driving under the influence.
Al-Saud pleaded guilty after being assured he would serve one year at the jail of his choice.

The jail of his choice? It must be nice to be a Saudi royal. With good behavior he might do half of that time.

"I hope you understand the pain you have caused us, the misery we experience every year. I hope that every time you decide to drink that you remember the man you killed. I hope while you are in jail, that you realize the pain you caused a good family," said Ramos' sister, Regita.

Read the rest here.

So the Saud royals can go drink, run down and kill one of our citizens and have little to suffer in the way of penalties? What would Bader's Imam say? Never mind that last question, he's probably Wahhabi. However, not all the blame is to be put on the Sauds influence. At the end of the article it states that the maximum penalty for killing someone through drunk driving is 2 years. I wonder what the maximum penalty is for having several pounds of pot?

Stupidity abounds in Massachussetes. I believe it's time for these New Englanders to re-evaluate their priorities.

I hate to speculate, but with all the troubles France has seen over the last few weeks, I really have to wonder what these two clowns were up to:

AN elderly man, his son-in-law and their wives are recovering in a French hospital after a home-made rocket-launcher the men were tinkering with exploded in the basement of a house, emergency services said.

Boo hoo hoo. I don't pity the fools.

The man, aged in his 60s, lost a hand and his son-in-law, aged 40, suffered serious leg injuries in the explosion Sunday in a villa near Aubagne, east of the Mediterranean port city of Marseilles. The two women were also suffering from shock.

Hands not as steady as they used to be, eh gramps?

The men appeared to have been working on a rocket in their basement, an investigator said. An explosives team was brought in to neutralise other munitions at the house and the matter was referred to the Marseilles prosecutor's office, a justice official said.

See, the gun laws of France work. These guys might have tried to make pistols.

"Even if it's not a case of major organised crime, we would rather make verifications very quickly," the official said.

Link.

I'd like to see more on this story as it develops.

This makes me feel better about our own government. At least we get the spelling right on important things:

MANILA (Reuters) - Filipinos could have collectors' items in their wallets after a small number of 100-peso (5 pound) bills slipped into circulation with an error in the president's name. The foul-up happened at a currency printer in Europe, which was making the bills in time for the Christmas spending spree in the Philippines, one central bank official told Reuters on Monday.

I wonder if they are that those currency printing jobs have been outsourced?

On the front of the new 100-peso note, which is worth about $1.83, the last name of President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo is spelled "Arrovo", with a "v". "Those that are out already are legal tender," the central bank official said. "We're not releasing more of them. We're having it investigated."

It's a simple case of stem loss.

The number of bills mistakenly released was "insignificant" and some people had returned them, she added.

"Hey, I don't want these! The name's misspelled!"
I'm not that picky.

The central bank "has apologised to the president over the incident", Deputy Governor Amando Suratos said in a statement. The peso, often hurt by political uncertainty, has been one of the best-performing currencies in Asia this year, hitting a six-month high of 54.30 to the dollar last week.

Link.

They'll get over it.

I am going to start posting Robert Anton Wilson's monthly thoughts. His books have been much of an inspiration to me, and he is usually dead on correct on most things:

IN DEFENSE OF PAT ROBERTSON
1 Artemis 83 p.s.U.

Nothing is true. All is permitted.
Hasan i Sabbah

Just as a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, even a Christian Fundamentalist gets a savvy notion every now and then. I think rev. Robertson had a good idea when he suggested replacing war with assassination in one case, on economic grounds. He merely didn't carry the concept far enough.

I suggest that we should abolish war utterly and replace it entirely with selective assassination. Think about the savings this would mean, in this age when even our "little" wars cost billions of dollars a year, and rememer the cogent observation of the late Senator Dirkson: "A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon you're talking about REAL Money." We've already gotten our national debt so high that our posterity "unto the seventh generation" will never pay it off; do we really need to enslave the whole future to the international bankers?

On the moral side, killing a few dozen foreigners a year instead of a few hundred thousand should seem less messy, to say the least of it, especially when you consider the collatarel damage to our own side. How much blood and death do we need?

Reversing a sentimental error of the '60s, the new anti-war slogan should be MAKE ASSASSINATIONS, NOT WARS.

And, best of all, if this idea catches on internationally we can expect at least 50 contracts on George Bush the first week.

Link.

I do not endorse that last phrase however. Hello CIA. Hello KGB. Hello Mossad. Hello MI5. I'm just a lowly little blogger here. Really!

Hey, I need a break once in a while, you know?

This is going to cause quite a stir, and it will be interesting to keep an eye on how this develops:

Restaurants in some cities, including Chicago, have started seating familes based on "have children" or "non-children," much like smoking and non-smoking sections. Now, the theory has made its way to the Tar Heel state.

RALEIGH, NC -- You've heard of smoke-free zones. How about child-free zones? That is the aim of an Internet petition that is mounting signatures in North Carolina to have child-free sections in upscale restaurants. The Web site claims to be the voice of adults who are tired of children ruining their nights out.

I'd like to see cell phone-free zones. How about a loud people-free zone? And let's face it, we would all like to see a gross eater-free zone as well. These people all know how to ruin a night out.

Arman Atashi, co-owner of the upscale Blue Note restaurant in Cary, says the problem can be avoided as long as restaurant managers do a good job of seating customers. "But legislating it, mandating it, coming up with rules and guidelines, I'd say we're asking for a headache," Atashi said.

And a whole new set of laws that could be discriminatory. You know there use to be a set of laws seperating were people sat in places based on who they are are, and not on what they were doing. We got rid of those kind of laws. Remember?

The petition has more than 400 signatures and even got a mention in the New York Times, but not everyone agrees with what people are saying. Kevin and Lissa Wertz have three kids. They want to know what they are supposed to do.Link.

Get a baby-sitter or be seperated from others for having brought children into the world.

Now don't get me wrong. I understand people want a quiet night out, and if they are paying good money for a fine meal they probably don't want to listen to a baby crying, or have children running around and making the restuarant into a personal playground. This shouldn't be legislated though. This should be left to each restuarant as to how they want to go about the situation. Like Atashi said, let the restuarant think of clever ways to do seating, and leave it out of the law makers hands. That's only asking for trouble. It should also be noted that there are plenty of children out there who do know how to behave themselves. Don't punish them all for the action of some. And parents, if you know your child is not the type to sit still for very long don't take them to any restaurant that has let's say, "Chez" in its' name. Try Chuck E. Cheese instead.

Here is what the petition states:

To: North Carolina Restauranteurs

WE, the childless and childfree people of the United States, hereby request that there be childfree sections set aside in your bars and restaurants immediately. Just as no-smoking sections offer non-smokers the option of dining without being forced to breathe cigarette and/or cigar smoke, we feel there should also be childfree sections where patrons can enjoy their dining experience in a peaceful, relaxing, and relatively quiet environment. People dine out in part for the ambiance it provides. That ambiance is lost when a child is crying and screaming or running around the restaurant unsupervised by his or her parents. Since consumers without children have more disposable income, spend more per person on drinks and food at each dining experience, and dine out more often than do people with children, we feel that now is the right time to implement these special sections. People without children, whether they are single or in a committed relationship, are a major economic power, and we know you want to please your patrons so that they return. We respectfully ask that you honor our request and designate childfree sections in your restaurants.

This petition is signed not only by the childless and childfree who reside in North Carolina, but all over the country, as people without children travel significantly more than do people with children, and one day may decide in their travels to dine in North Carolina.

*NOTE: This petition does not apply to fast-food restaurants, long known as the bastions of children worldwide. We are focusing our request only on higher-end and upscale restaurants, places where adults should be able to enjoy each other’s company without interruptions.

You may also sign this petition if you are a parent who desires childfree sections in restaurants.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned


They have more money, therefore their opinion weighs more. Talk about having an ego trip, every snob should be proud of how that thing is worded. The petition can be viewed and signed here.

This asshat is going to get the crap beat out of him by someone for this:

CARLISLE, Ky. (AP) - A Nicholas County High School student was suspended after he was accused of urinating in an ice machine that at least 31 people got ice from before the incident was reported. Ben Buckler, chief of police for Nicholas County Schools, said another student dared the boy, who told officials he relieved himself in the ice machine in the gymnasium lobby just before physical education class Wednesday.

The other student that dared him needs to also be punished. Obviously he didn't let anyone know what was going on.

School law officials say charges will be filed, although officials were still trying to decide Thursday what to charge him with. He was suspended for 10 days, pending an expulsion hearing.

There are tons of laws on tampering with food, water, medicine etc;. I hope the delay is becuase they are trying to find the one that will give the harshest punishment.

Other students witnessed the incident, but it wasn't reported to Principal Doug Bechanan until Thursday morning. By the time the machine was taken out of service, some students and staff had taken ice from the machine.

Anyone who witnessed it and didn't say anything should all receive some kind of punishment.

School officials contacted the Department of Public Health in Frankfort. "They said it was gross and morally wrong but not a health risk," Buckler said. Health officials said urine is sterile because the body has its own filtering system. If any bacteria did make it through, the ice's temperature would have killed it. But some students, parents and staff remained worried. The Nicholas County School Board is picking up doctor bills "to ease the minds" of those who were exposed and want to be checked out anyway.

Link.

Suspension and expulsion aren't enough for this kid. Hopefully he'll get some time spent behind bars, as well as fines. I imagine he is going to learn all about what law suit means as well. If anyone decides to dunk his head in a port-o-potty, I didn't see it.

Congratulations, you're the Asshat of The Day, punk.

This has to be the biggest hockey fight I've seen in a long time. I'm not sure who these teams are, as I had my speakers off when I watched it, but the team in white gets totally pwn3d.

See it here.

Update: I just listened to it, and it's in French. So I still don't know who these teams are. Please let me know if you have any idea.

So now we see from the previous posts that the Plant Rights movement is gaining ground, and fungi are to soon be given arguements in their favor for their proper rights on mothership Gaia. Be prepared for some more bad news. Drinking clean, uncontaminated water is now deemed hazordous to your health. Really!:

Some Walkerton residents are having trouble swallowing the results of a four-year government health study that claims many residents are suffering from drinking too much clean, uncontaminated water.

Your water has been deemed to clean. Put some goddamned thing in it!

Researchers say kidney damage found in more than 200 residents of Walkerton, Ont., is not the result of E. coli poisoning. The new study suggests the serious damage has been caused by drinking too much water and that it's a problem that could be afflicting thousands of people across the country.

Face it. You were best off when you avoided the wagon.

But some Walkerton residents are having trouble accepting the results.

These are called thinkers. They do not work for the Canadian government.

"I believe there are a huge number of us in this town with this problem, and what, because we're drinking too much water? I'm having trouble choking that down," said Roxanne Schuknecht, a resident who has been struggling with her health for five years, along with her family. The kidney condition is one of the findings of a long-term, government funded health study into the 2000 tainted-water tragedy and is "completely preventable," a lead researcher told the Canadian Press Wednesday.

I'm getting the feeling Molsen and LaBlatt had a hand in this investigation.

The study found that five per cent of the 4,400 residents tested had high urine volumes with pathological levels of protein. The problem is unrelated to the E. coli-contaminated water that killed seven people and sickened 2,500 others in May 2000. Ron Leavoy, another Walkerton resident, has struggled with high blood pressure and kidney problems since the Walkerton tragedy in 2000, when seven people died. He finds it hard to believe his health problems are simply due to drinking too much clean water.

You know that Ron, and I do as well. But these are experts. They work for the government. Canada doesn't have to worry about foreign threats, the water is their greatest enemy.

Coming soon....

Government declares breathing is bad for your health.

Developing...

I thought the post I had put up yesterday on the growing fungi and plant rights movement going on in New Zealand was just to stupid to be true. After reading this I am starting to have my doubts. A new movement may be upon us:

TOKYO (Reuters) - A giant white radish that won the hearts of a Japanese town by valiantly growing through the urban asphalt was in intensive care at a town hall in western Japan on Thursday after being slashed by an unknown assailant.

Must have been a ninja attack.

The "daikon" radish, shaped like a giant carrot, first made the news months ago when it was noticed poking up through asphalt along a roadside in the town of Aioi, population 33,289.

Month's ago? It's certainly past it's peak.

This week local residents, who had nicknamed the vegetable "Gutsy Radish," were shocked -- and in some cases moved to tears -- when they found it had been decapitated.

The name was an omen.

TV talk shows seized on the attempted murder of the popular vegetable and a day later, the top half of the radish was found near the site where it had been growing.

Zarqawi must be in on this.

A town official said on Thursday the top of the severed radish had been placed in water to try to keep it alive and possibly get it to flower. Asked why the radish -- more often found on Japanese dinner tables as a garnish, pickle or in "oden" stew -- had so many fans, town spokesman Jiro Matsuo said: "People discouraged by tough times were cheered by its tenacity and strong will to live."

Link.

Either that or they really need cable. The world is now officialy insane.

Some people boast their stupidity openly. This is helpful at times, as in this case. Being locked away will keep this man from breeding:

A man with an identifying tattoo is being sought by Waterford police after they said he robbed a National City Bank. The suspect, identified as Andrew Jeffrey Webster, has tattoos on both arms, including one that says "Dumb" on the inside of his right arm, according to police.

It seemed like a good idea at the time I'm guessing.

Webster is considered armed and dangerous.

Probably to himself as well as the public.

Police responded to a bank robbery at the National City Bank, located in the 900 block of West Huron at 12:55 p.m. Tuesday. The robber entered the bank and handed a teller a note. Witnesses said the man was wearing a green jacket, black knit hat, black scarf and black gloves. He left the bank on foot. Police said there were no injuries and no weapons were seen. An undisclosed amount of cash was taken. Webster is described as a white male, 21 years old, 6 feet tall and 150 pounds. A warrant has been obtained for Webster's arrest from the Oakland County Prosecutor's Office, according to Waterford police. Anyone with information should call (248) 618-7636 or (248) 618-7636.

Link.

Spread the word, and get this dork off of the streets.