Evolution Surrenders!

This one just has me shaking my head. I have to think of some stupid gimmick that is going to make me rich. Scientologists should eat this one up:

HOUSTON -- Patients are pouring into a north Houston doctor's office for help with everything from cancer to constipation. The treatment involves a footbath, but does it really provide a cure? The KPRC Local 2 Troubleshooters went undercover to find the answer.

It takes special techniques to figure out these kind of things. Good thing we have experts.

A hidden camera caught every crack and adjustment during a recent visit to Cypress Chiropractic, located at 9950 Cypresswood Drive. The appointment seemed routine until Dr. Brooke Fowler had the undercover patient, a KPRC producer, put her feet into what looked like a regular footbath. After soaking for several minutes, Fowler said the machine pulled out metal from the pores of the producer's feet. "See the black chunks? Those are mostly metals and you can pick up metals from tap water, smoking, tobacco or even second-hand smoke," Fowler said.

Cheap silverware, chinese take-out, flouride, bleached socks, modeling glue, chemtrails in the sky...

They are toxins that Fowler and her husband, Dr. Mark Hopkins, who also works at the clinic, said might add to the producer's PMS problem.

All my ex-wife needed was to soak her feet?

But the KPRC Troubleshooters found patients soaking for all sorts of medical conditions. "I brought my husband because he had a cyst on his head," a patient said. "He will treat (you), no matter what you have. You can go in there and he'll say, 'Sure, stick your feet in here. I'll fix you up.'" The female patient did not want to be identified, but she does want to know what's in the water. "This one's got, like, I swear, there's, like, sand in there," she said.

Not sand, he just hasn't changed the water in a while.

Several members of her family are coming to Cypress Chiropractic for everything from depression to skin problems. Cypress Chiropractic's office pamphlets said the footbaths help with arthritis, migraines, and even cancer. The doctors told patients that the colored specs in the tub were toxins pulled from their bodies and each poison is a different color. "He'll keep you going back week after week after week," the patient said.

No one's forcing you to go back "patient". You're just stupid enough to keep going back.

Each week, patients are charged hundreds in supplements, office visits and footbaths, the station reported. So, the Troubleshooters went to Rice chemistry professor Andrew Barron to find out what the patients are actually getting for their money.

The experts are baffled. Time to go to specialized scientist. Does it get any stupider than this?

"Absolutely nothing is really the straight answer," Barron said. He tested the water from the KPRC producer's footbath.

Nothing is true. All is permitted.
Hasan i Sabbah

"We've got calcium and sodium, which we would expect," Barron said. He found metals, but no toxins that could physically come through the pores of someone's feet. "To be pulling out chunks of magnesium or copper, if that's the claim, seems difficult," Barron said.

"Seems difficult"? This is the super expert? We demand another expert!

Dr. Charles Layne, with the University of Houston's Department of Health and Human Performance, read the research on the footbath, but still has questions, specifically about the metals that are supposedly toxic. "Even if these could be drawn out or are being drawn out by this process, I don't understand why these are toxic," Layne said.

Slowly we start to discover that this just might be shenanigans.

"Scientists say you're not pulling metals out through people's feet," KPRC's Amy Davis said.

"Then you're checking the wrong studies," Hopkins said.

The manufacturer of the footbath claims a battery creates a negative charge in the water that helps to grab onto the toxins in a patient's body and suck them out. Barron said the problem is not with the studies, but with the science.

Why don't they just give the water a positive charge and start putting stuff like vitamins into the patients?

"There is no evidence that it would have any effect whatsoever, other than having a pleasant feeling," he said.

"We see patients every day come in and they get better. And like I said, we've got testimonials to prove it, tons of them," Hopkins said. As a chiropractor, Hopkins said he makes it clear he does not treat conditions. He treats patients who suffer from conditions. And as long as they're happy, he said he would continue letting them soak.

Link.

Oh he's soaking them alright. I don't know who's worse. This quack, the patients who go see him, or these Troubleshooter experts who went seeking scientific opinion, and still left this piece open ended to the viewer to decide if this is valid or not. May none of these people ever reproduce ever, ever, again. Someday I can see myself opening a clinic with nothing but a vacuum hose.