Hawke's Bay grape grower Chris Howell wonders how he's going to handle pruning this season after learning it could be painful for his vines.
You might want to think of that grass you're stepping on too pal.
The Tauranga-based Society for the
Horrors! It's a mushroom holocaust!
"We'll be taking action, and organising protests, to bring to the attention of horticulturists that plants, fungi and insects do in fact have feelings, and suggesting measures to increase feelings of peace, love and harmony within the fields and paddocks of New Zealand," he said.
Fire ants and crabgrass can give us much insight on those subjects. I would love to see a hippie head of cabbage.
The Hawke's Bay Grape Growers Association discussed the matter at a committee meeting earlier this year, and recently published a letter from the society in its newsletter, Vitis Informus. In his letter, Mr Pickering said recent research by overseas biologists had found evidence that plants sensed and reacted to the presence of leaf-chomping grubs. "Their response was to emit an odour similar to lavender, thereby alerting other plants to the presence of a predator," he said.
Gee, do they run away to safety from the danger once alerted?
"This process also served to attract wasps, which were drawn by the odour to the plant where they either devoured the grub or injected it with eggs that later killed it."
Oh, I see. They call in the muscle. Why do you people hate grubs?
He claimed other experiments had shown electrical resistance changes in a plant when a researcher thought about burning leaves on the plant. The society was committed to protecting the rights of plants and insects so they wouldn't be exposed to any negative feelings - including fear.
Beware of plant telepathy. They know what naughty secrets lurk in your mind.
But Mr Howell said grapegrowers were bemused and wondered whether the letter was a university prank. Not that he's ignoring his own vines' very definite feelings.
"They are sensitive wee souls," he said. "They like being looked after and pampered, which is what we do. They don't like it too cold or too hot."
Beware Mr. Howell. They know what you are thinking and want you to keep your perverted hands to yourself.
Mr Howell, the chairman of the Grape Growers Association, said it had not responded to the society, which gave just a box number as its address. But he and other members had notices that its initials made up the word "spoof".
Link.
The very fact that they are even pondering over this shows me that they are just as stupid as the letter writers if this is not a prank. If it is a prank, then that would just make one stupid group.
