Evolution Surrenders!

If anyone has the right to snivel about religious persecution, it is these four ladies:

Uparkhandadhar (Orissa), Nov.14 : In a revolting incident of superstition some villagers in Uparkhandadhar village of Sundergarh district in Orissa allegedly forced four women accused of being witches to eat human excreta under the disguise of witches. The police have arrested eight persons, including two women for this heinous action. These four women were locked in a room for three days by six men and two women. They were allegedly forced to pay a fine of 500 rupees each and forced to consume human excreta.

I think this would fall under cruel and unusual punishment. Where the hell do poor village witches find 500 rupees?

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch! A witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! We've found a witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1:
We have found a witch. May we burn her?
CROWD:
Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!
BEDEVERE:
How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2:
She looks like one.

"They beat us with a bible and said we were lying and that we are practicing witchcraft. They also fined us for it and forced us to consume human excreta," said Kapri, one of the victim. According to police, the four women were tortured as they were accused of practicing sorcery and spreading disease in the village.

BEDEVERE:
Bring her forward.
WITCH:
I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEVERE:
Uh, but you are dressed as one.
WITCH:
They dressed me up like this.
CROWD:
Augh, we didn't! We didn't...
WITCH:
And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
BEDEVERE:
Well?
VILLAGER #1:
Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE:
The nose?
VILLAGER #1:
And the hat, but she is a witch!
VILLAGER #2:
Yeah!
CROWD:
We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!


"Our police team rushed to the spot and rescued the four women. We also filed cases against the two women and eight men accused of branding four women as witches. We also filed a Court challan against them," said Bibudhendu Ku Aich, Officer In Charge, Lahunipara.

BEDEVERE:
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
VILLAGER #1:
Are there?
VILLAGER #2:
Ah?
VILLAGER #1:
What are they?
CROWD:
Tell us! Tell us!...
BEDEVERE:
Tell me. What do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2:
Burn!
VILLAGER #1:
Burn!
CROWD:
Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
BEDEVERE:
And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1:
More witches!
VILLAGER #3:
Shh!
VILLAGER #2:
Wood!
BEDEVERE:
So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3:
B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?
BEDEVERE:
Good! Heh heh.
CROWD:
Oh, yeah. Oh.
BEDEVERE:
So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1:
Build a bridge out of her!


The Government of Orissa has a law against aiding and abetting witchcraft.

BEDEVERE:
Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1:
No. No.
VILLAGER #2:
No, it floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1:
Throw her into the pond!
CROWD:
The pond! Throw her into the pond!
BEDEVERE:
What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1:
Bread!
VILLAGER #2:
Apples!
VILLAGER #3:
Uh, very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1:
Cider!
VILLAGER #2:
Uh, gra-- gravy!
VILLAGER #1:
Cherries!
VILLAGER #2:
Mud!
VILLAGER #3:
Uh, churches! Churches!
VILLAGER #2:
Lead! Lead!
ARTHUR:
A duck!
CROWD:
Oooh.
BEDEVERE:
Exactly. So, logically...
VILLAGER #1:
If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood.
BEDEVERE:
And therefore?
VILLAGER #2:
A witch!
VILLAGER #1:
A witch!
CROWD:
A witch! A witch!...
VILLAGER #4:
Here is a duck. Use this duck.
[quack quack quack]
BEDEVERE:
Very good. We shall use my largest scales.
CROWD:
Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...
BEDEVERE: Right. Remove the supports!
[whop]
[clunk]
[creak]
CROWD:
A witch! A witch! A witch!
WITCH:
It's a fair cop.

In 1999, the Government also passed an act against witchcraft, "Witch Prohibition Act-1999", according to which six months imprisonment and a fine of 2,000 rupees can be imposed on a person found guilty of torturing innocent women. Surprisingly, in most cases the practitioners of witchcraft as well as their victims are women.

VILLAGER #3:
Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEVERE:
A newt?
VILLAGER #3:
I got better.

While cases of women practicing the occult is known, in most cases it is innocent women who are branded as witches and subjected to torture and even death.

Link.

Can we trade these four women for Michael Newdow? They would be safe, and he would have a genuine reason to be whining about his lot in life.